Sleepovers: which questions do you ask, and what is a code word?

Is my child ready?

Nationwide Children's Hospital says a child may be ready if they know how to ask other adults for help and can handle toileting and nights without accidents. Many children start with grandparents or cousins, says Mississippi State University Extension. For many children of 4 to 7, later is fine too.

What do you ask the host?

• Which adults will be home, and can I have their contact information?
• Where will the kids sleep, and how will adults supervise?
• What are the rules for phones, tablets and the internet?
• Are there dangerous items, like medication, alcohol, guns or a pool, and how are they secured?

Be friendly about it. Mississippi State's guide says the goal is for families to know their child is in a safe home, and that it helps to answer these questions yourself as well. The AAP has a similar list for playdates.

How does a code word work?

Pick a word or emoji together. It means: come and get me. Mississippi State says to tell your child they can ask to be picked up if they feel uncomfortable or want to come home. Nationwide Children's adds that your child should practice asking, and should know they do not have to explain why.

What do you do when the call comes?

Go, without questions and without anger. Talk later, if your child wants to. A child who was punished once will not call again.

What do you practice beforehand?

Use a "what if" question, as Mississippi State suggests. What if your friend's older brother asks you to hang out alone in his room? What would you do? See how to help your child tell you anything.