Noor Says NoHow do you help keep your child safe? A guide for parents
Sources reviewed on November 1, 2026. Based on public advice, see below.
With a few clear rules and a lot of practice, not with fear. Teach your child that their body is theirs, to ask first before going anywhere, and to always tell. Watch behavior, not types of people, because most people who abuse children are someone the child knows. No rule can promise safety. The job of protecting stays with adults.
Where is the real risk?
Less with strangers than many parents think. CDC says about 90% of child sexual abuse is by someone known and trusted by the child or the family. NCMEC says most child abductions involve a relative or someone the child knows. So your child needs rules about what people do. Read why stranger danger is not enough.
Which eight rules do you teach?
These rules come from public advice by NCMEC, the American Academy of Pediatrics and others. Each one applies to everyone, including family, and each has its own page with sources.
- Your body is yours. You can say no, even to Grandpa or an uncle. Read how to teach your child to say no.
- Private parts are private. Use the proper words. Read how to talk about private parts.
- Ask first. Before you go with someone, take something or go inside. Read what to teach if a stranger approaches your child.
- Know the family password. Whoever picks you up unexpectedly knows the word. Read how to set up a family password.
- Bad secrets get told. A surprise can wait. A secret you can never tell can't. Read good and bad secrets.
- Listen to your gut. If it feels wrong, you don't have to do it. Read how to teach your child to trust their gut.
- Online, send nothing. No photo, no password, no address. Show a grown-up first. Read how to help keep your child safe online.
- You never get in trouble for telling. And it is never your fault. Read how to help your child tell you anything.
How do you teach this without scaring your child?
By practicing instead of warning. NCMEC recommends role play, because the more children practice, the better prepared they are.
Does it make children afraid? A Cochrane review of 24 studies on school programs found no evidence that they raised or lowered children's anxiety or fear. It also found that children's skills and knowledge increased. Those were school lessons, not home reading. See how to explain what is safe and what is not.
What do you arrange as a parent?
A child can't protect themselves. CDC says adults are responsible for ensuring safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments.
Home, babysitters and sleepovers
- What age can a child stay home alone?Usually not before 10. What the US and UK say.
- How do you choose a babysitter you can trust?References, a test run, and one rule for your child.
- Sleepovers: which questions do you ask, and what is a code word?Questions for the host, and a way home with no questions asked.
Out and about, and at school
- What age can a child walk to school alone?Not before about 10 for crossing streets. What to practice now.
- Should your child's name be on their backpack?Inside, yes. Outside, better not.
- Your child is lost or missing: what do you do first?The steps for you, and the rule for your child.
- How do you teach your child to call 911 or 999?What an emergency is, and what the operator will ask.
- Tattling or telling: how do you explain the difference?If someone is hurt or sad, you can always tell.
- How do you check if a sports club is safe for your child?Ask about time alone, and know where to report.
How do you notice that something is wrong?
Watch adults' behavior: wanting time alone with a child, gifts, secrets, ignoring limits. Signs in a child are often unclear, and CDC says many children wait to tell or never do. That's why it matters so much that your child dares to tell.
- How do you spot an adult who crosses boundaries with children?What to watch for, and how to raise it.
- What are the signs of child abuse in a young child?What to look for, and why a concern is enough to act.
- What do you do if your child tells you about abuse?Stay calm, believe them, and get help.
Where can you get help?
- Immediate danger: 911 in the US, 999 in the UK.
- US: Childhelp, 1-800-422-4453, call or text. It's not a reporting line. To report, contact your state's child protective agency.
- UK: NSPCC, 0808 800 5000. To report, contact the local council's children's social care team. Children and young people can call Childline at 0800 1111.
Frequently asked questions
What is the most important thing to teach?
That your child can always tell you and will not get in trouble. A child who tells can get help. Next: your body is yours, and ask first before going anywhere.
At what age do you start?
The American Academy of Pediatrics says you can start teaching body boundaries and safety as soon as your child can talk.
Won't this make my child afraid?
A Cochrane review of 24 studies found no evidence that school programs on this topic raise or lower children's anxiety or fear. Practice calmly, and keep it short.
All questions for this guide
- How do you teach your child to say no?Short sentences, role play and one clear rule.
- What is a family password, and how do you set one up?One word that tells your child who may pick them up.
- Good secrets and bad secrets: how do you explain the difference?Three questions your child can ask about any secret.
- Is stranger danger still good advice?Not on its own. Teach what people do, not who they are.
- How do you teach your child to trust their gut?Name the feeling, and make telling the rule.
- How do you help your child tell you anything?Daily habits, and how to react when it counts.
- How do you report child abuse in the US and UK?Who to call, and why you don't need to be sure.
- What is an AMBER Alert, and what do you do when you get one?What the alert means, and what you can do.
All topics are in the overview of parents' questions.
Sources
Each source was read on November 1, 2026. These organizations are not connected to this site or the book.
- CDC: About Child Sexual Abuse.
- National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: KidSmartz: rethinking stranger danger.
- National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: Tips for Parents: Safety Scenarios (PDF).
- American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org: Sexual Behaviors in Young Children: What's Normal, What's Not?.
- Cochrane: School-based programmes for the prevention of child sexual abuse (2015).
- Childhelp: National Child Abuse Hotline.
- USAGov: Report a crime.
- GOV.UK: Report child abuse.
- Nemours KidsHealth: Child Abuse.
This is general information, not a replacement for professional help. Worried about a child? In the US, call or text Childhelp at 1-800-422-4453. In the UK, call the NSPCC at 0808 800 5000. Immediate danger: call 911 or 999.
