Noor Says NoTattling or telling: how do you explain the difference?
Sources reviewed on November 1, 2026. Based on public advice, see below.
Keep it simple: if someone is hurt or sad, you can always tell. That is asking for help, not tattling. Nemours KidsHealth notes that kids are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying because they feel embarrassed or ashamed, so your reaction to their telling counts for a lot.
Why do children stay quiet?
KidsHealth says kids are often reluctant to tell because they feel embarrassed and ashamed, or worry that their parents will be disappointed or upset. So telling needs to feel safe before it is needed.
What sentence can you teach?
From the book: "That's not tattling. If someone is hurt or sad, you can always tell." You can add one question for your child: "Are you trying to help someone or get someone in trouble?" That is our own wording, and it may take a few tries to sink in.
When is teasing no longer teasing?
KidsHealth says that most kids get teased at some point, and it isn't usually harmful when it's playful and both kids find it funny. When it becomes hurtful, unkind and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.
What can your child do in the moment?
KidsHealth advises against telling kids to fight back, because that can make things worse. It's best to walk away, stay with others, and tell an adult. At school, teachers, principals and lunchroom staff can all help. A short sentence helps too: "Stop. That's not kind."
What do you do when your child tells you?
Listen calmly and offer comfort and support, says KidsHealth. Try not to fix it in the first minute. Say: "I'm glad you told me." Then talk about the next step together, and go to the school if needed.
Why does this matter for safety?
Because the same habit counts elsewhere. A child who has learned that telling helps is more likely to tell about bigger things. Read how to help your child tell you anything.
Frequently asked questions
My child tells me about every little thing. Is that bad?
It's a good problem to have. Listen briefly, then ask what your child could do next. You keep the door open and build skills at the same time.
Should my child hit back?
KidsHealth advises not to. Fighting back can quickly lead to more trouble and injury. Walking away and telling an adult works better.
Keep reading
- Peer pressure: how can a young child say no to a dare?
- How do you help your child tell you anything?
- Good secrets and bad secrets: how do you explain the difference?
All topics are in the overview of parents' questions. The big picture is in the guide How do you help keep your child safe? A guide for parents. Want to practice this with your child? That's why the picture book Noor Says No was made.
Sources
Each source was read on November 1, 2026. These organizations are not connected to this site or the book.
- Nemours KidsHealth: Helping Kids Deal With Bullies.
This is general information, not a replacement for professional help. Worried about a child? In the US, call or text Childhelp at 1-800-422-4453. In the UK, call the NSPCC at 0808 800 5000. Immediate danger: call 911 or 999.
