Noor Says NoIs stranger danger still good advice?
Sources reviewed on November 1, 2026. Based on public advice, see below.
Not on its own. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children says stranger danger is not the most effective lesson, and most child abductions involve someone the child knows. CDC says about 90% of child sexual abuse is by someone known and trusted. So teach rules about what people do, which work with everyone.
What is wrong with stranger danger?
NCMEC names three problems. Children often picture strangers as mean, ugly people, so the nice man looking for his lost puppy does not count. Some strangers are helpful, like store clerks, police officers or parents with children. And the idea ignores people the child knows, like family members, neighbors and acquaintances.
What do you say instead?
KidSmartz suggests swapping the sentence:
- Instead of
- "Never talk to strangers."
- Say
- "You should not approach just anyone. If you need help, look for a uniformed police officer, a store clerk with a nametag, or a parent with children."
- Instead of
- "Stay away from people you don't know."
- Say
- "It's important for you to get my permission before going anywhere with anyone."
Does that mean strangers are not a risk?
No. It means the same rules cover both. "Get my permission before going anywhere with anyone" works for a stranger with a puppy and for a neighbor with a new toy. See what to teach if a stranger approaches your child.
How do you bring this up without scaring your child?
Practice situations, not dangers. NCMEC recommends role play, because the more children practice, the better prepared they are to respond. You do not have to mention what could go wrong.
What about adults your child knows?
Teach the same three things: ask first, no secrets, always tell. Read good and bad secrets and how to spot an adult who crosses boundaries.
Frequently asked questions
Where does the 90% come from?
From CDC's page About Child Sexual Abuse, which says about 90% is perpetrated by someone known and trusted by the child or the child's family members.
Can my child talk to strangers at all?
Yes, with you nearby and for help when lost. KidSmartz says some strangers, like store clerks or police officers, can be helpful when a child needs help.
Keep reading
- What do you teach your child if a stranger approaches them?
- What is a family password, and how do you set one up?
- How do you spot an adult who crosses boundaries with children?
All topics are in the overview of parents' questions. The big picture is in the guide How do you help keep your child safe? A guide for parents. Want to practice this with your child? That's why the picture book Noor Says No was made.
Sources
Each source was read on November 1, 2026. These organizations are not connected to this site or the book.
- National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: KidSmartz: rethinking stranger danger.
- CDC: About Child Sexual Abuse.
- American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org: Child Abuse and Neglect: AAP Policy Explained.
- National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: Tips for Parents: Safety Scenarios (PDF).
This is general information, not a replacement for professional help. Worried about a child? In the US, call or text Childhelp at 1-800-422-4453. In the UK, call the NSPCC at 0808 800 5000. Immediate danger: call 911 or 999.
